- I shall not wear purple. I never wore purple when I was a young lady, so why would I start now? I don’t like purple. I don’t like pansies or grape Popsicles. I’ve never worn purple eyeshadow or lilac or that insipid shade of gray known as Dove. I know that purple is the color of royalty, so maybe my antipathy to it is my shetl ancestors rearing their peasant heads.
- Nor shall I wear a red hat or belong to a community in which the wearing of said hat, broad of brim and floppy to boot, is a badge of honor. I don’t begrudge other women the opportunity to band together and howl at the proverbial moon in such a way; I just don’t want to look so silly myself.
- I shall not keep clothing in my wardrobe that is twenty years old even though it’s in perfectly good condition except for the pilling on the sleeves–and the shine on the seat.
- Nor shall I, despite my love of fashion, wear the latest, must-have It Girl outfit the editors are all enthused about. I will accept that my days as an It Girl are long gone–if they ever existed at all.
- Let me amend that: I’ve recently found an incredible website–Advanced Style–which features photos of women of a certain age and beyond who are still playing the fashion game. I have been inspired to maintain my subscriptions to Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Marie Claire and Elle and in so doing to remain at least an enthusiastic fashionista-wannabe.
- I will continue to shave my legs and armpits, although the latter may not be so important since…
- I shall not wear sleeveless tops–oh, hell, wait a minute. That’s someone else’s shall not. I shall continue to expose my upper arms, willynilly of their crepiness, flabbiness, age-spottediness.
- I shall accept the fact that my aging feet demand, should I want to walk on them at all, that I wear COMFORTABLE SHOES. However, in the 21st century, one of the incredible advances society has made is the design of ergonomically correct shoes that do not resemble herring boxes without topses. I will search until I find cute comfortable shoes at whatever price.
And you? When you’re an old woman (or man), what will you not wear? Please share….
Photo credit: jokeshire.com
